


i guess i met my lifetime love

by kimxjeon



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Humor, LMAO this is so typical sigh, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sort Of, justin is loud, linong is innocent and adorable, popular xukun, sorry im not a good writer but i love nongkun a lot, xukun's a shameless flirt, zhengting is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 06:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15188375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimxjeon/pseuds/kimxjeon
Summary: “It’s not a small crush, isn’t it?” Yanjun asks, watching Linong walk away before staring at Xukun who’s still smiling after greeting Linong a happy birthday for the umpteenth time today.“What makes you say that?” Xukun asks, voice teasing with his love-struck smile still on his face.“Xukun, you treat him like he’s the only person that matters to you.”“That’s because he’s the only person that matters to me.”(or: nongkun au where xukun's in love with linong but he doesn't want to confess)





	i guess i met my lifetime love

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! this isn't my first nongkun work, but it's sort of my first completed/posted one.. i love nongkun a lot and i'm sorry if this is cliche or lame i just wanted to write them :(  
> i hope you enjoy reading uwu
> 
> ++ universities are made up

“Sorry, you’re really pretty but I don’t feel the same,” Xukun says, smiling apologetically at the brave girl who had come up to his locker to confess.

“Of course, you don’t know me yet, but maybe we can try—”

“I’m not interested right now. Please forgive me,” he cuts off, trying not to sound like a jerk although he’s probably being one right now.

He genuinely feels bad, but he really doesn’t want to lead her on if he accepts.

Or _maybe_ , it's for another reason.

The girl sighs, clearly giving up. “Okay, alright. I hope whoever finally perks your interest treats you real good. You’re letting go of an amazing partner here, who goes by the name of Mingyue!” She backs away slowly while shooting finger guns.

Xukun laughs. “Of course, which is why you deserve someone as good as you.”

Mingyue grins, turning her body around and waving at Xukun while yelling, “You’re a good guy, Xukun!”

“You too!” he yells back, watching her figure disappear among the other people in the crowded hallway.

He sighs, leaning against his locker and crossing his arms.

“She really seemed like a fun person.”

His friend who has watched the whole scene while standing beside him voices out his confusion. “She is. Why did you turn her down?”

“I barely know her.”

“You could’ve tried to be friends first. I mean if I were you I would, but no one asks me out.”

Xukun’s heartbeat quickens at that, as if the mention of asking someone like Linong out scares him. He shakes his head, chuckling. “Maybe all of the people who are utterly in love with you are cowards.”

The laughter that comes out the other’s lips makes Xukun feels warm as always.

“Maybe.”

“Oh, you bet I’m right.” He pushes himself off of the locker and looks up at Linong, raising a brow at him as if to say _you can’t fight me on this_.

Linong laughs again, putting his arms around Xukun’s shoulders. “Whatever you say.”

 

-

 

Xukun doesn’t know when he fell for Linong, but all he knows is it wasn’t long after he first met him. Linong came from Taiwan, moving here for his second last year of high school and he immediately fit in with Xukun and his group of friends.

People were confused when Xukun has stayed single for months, when he usually had a new partner two weeks after breaking up with his old one, but that didn’t really stop people from asking him out all the time. He has learnt to turn them down nicely though, and he hopes none of them hold grudges against him.

No one really knows why, except for his friends.

They first notice how odd Xukun treats Linong two months after adding a new member to their circle, and of course it was Justin who voiced it out.

“Do you have a crush on Linong? It’s weird to see you acting so different towards him.”

“What? I do _not_ act different,” Xukun denies. He isn’t flustered, but he likes acting as if he’s in denial although he fully understands his own feelings.

Chengcheng snorts. “You do.”

“I agree,” Ziyi says.

“What’s funny is that Linong thinks you’re just being nice,” Zhengting says, laughing. “He’s so cute.”

“He is,” Zhangjing agrees. “Are you going to tell him?”

Xukun shrugs. “It’s just a small crush.”

“Hmm, maybe,” Zhangjing replies. “Don’t lead him on though. Linong’s smarter than he looks.”

“I know, I won’t.”

 

-

 

“It’s not a small crush, isn’t it?” Yanjun asks, watching Linong walk away before staring at Xukun who’s still smiling after greeting Linong a happy birthday for the umpteenth time today.

“What makes you say that?” Xukun asks, voice teasing with his love-struck smile still on his face.

“Xukun, you treat him like he’s the only person that matters to you.”

“That’s because he’s the only person that matters to me.”

Yanjun snorts. “That sounds like a person in love.”

“Maybe I am in love.”

“That’s pretty great, but it’s creepy for me to watch you act like this for the first time.”

“You think you don’t look like booboo the fool when you stare at Zhangjing with those dreamy eyes?”

Yanjun hits him.

That night, they successfully surprise Linong a birthday party at a sushi restaurant near his neighbourhood, obviously planned by Xukun. It’s not a big deal for him to pay for the meal for fifteen people too since he comes from a wealthy family, and the long hug and incessant muttering of ‘thank you’ from Linong along with the big beautiful smile that Linong wears the whole night is worth it for him to go broke.

“You only greet us on our birthdays,” Chengcheng comments after all of them walk Linong home.

“I do buy you presents,” Xukun says, frowning.

“Only the week after that!” Justin retorts.

“At least I greet you guys on time.” Xukun smiles at them, shrugging.

“You’re ridiculously whipped it’s disgusting,” Chengcheng states.

“You’ve just never been in love,” Justin says to Chengcheng before sighing dreamily at Xukun. “I think Linong and Xukun are cute.”

Chengcheng rolls his eyes as Xukun ruffles Justin’s hair.

 

-

 

“Nongnong’s late,” Xukun states.

“He is.”

“Where is he?”

“He’ll come.”

“What if he’s not coming?”

“Calm down, you’ve been saying his name fifty times for the past five minutes,” Zhengting says.

Chengcheng snorts. “Is that possible?”

“I think so,” Justin says. “Linong linong linonglinong nongnong nong _nong_ nongnongnong—“

“Please shut up,” Chengcheng demands.

“I will.” Justin puts on a straight face and puts his hands on his thighs.

“No, he’s always early,” Xukun says. “He always comes before Justin, the one who comes after classes start. Wait, why are _you_ here, Justin? Are you trying to replace him?”

“Xukun, calm down. You’re always the calm one but suddenly Linong’s not here and you’re like th—“

“ _Exactly_ , he’s not here.”

“No, what if he had something to do? It’s fine. He’ll text us.”

“But what if something bad happened? He hasn’t texted us!”

“That’s why we have to wait—“

“Hey, Linong texted,” Chengcheng says, showing his phone screen.

 **linong:** hey guys sorry i’m not going to school

 **linong:** nothing really bad happened i promise i just can’t go

 **xukun:** huh

 **xukun:** what happened

 **xukun:** are u okay

 **linong:** I’M FINE nothing really

 **xukun:** then why are you not in school

 **xukun:** this doesn’t make sense

 **xukun:** what are you hiding

 **chengcheng:** xukun

 **chengcheng:** stop

 **linong:** i’m not hiding anything!!

 **xukun:** then tell us

 **linong:** it’s not a big deal

 **xukun:** you’re not in school it’s a big deal chen linong

 **justin:** ooh full name

 **linong:** DKJDJD xukun i just have a rly high fever right now

 **justin:** AWW GWS

 **zhengting:** GET WELL SOON

 **zhengting:** we’ll visit you after school

 **linong:** THANK YOU

 **linong** : NO IT’S OKAY YOU DON’T HAVE TO

 **xukun** : no. we need to.

And the teacher walks in.

Xukun spends the entire day not focusing and when the last bell of the day rings he immediately packs his stuff and exits the classroom to go to Linong’s house.

“Hey, Xukun!” Zhengting shouts.

“Are you coming?” Xukun stops and turns around.

“No, all of us have some things to do.” He points to himself and his other friends, pouting. “But we'll go together tomorrow since it’s the weekend.”

“Alright, see you guys!”

When he stands in front of Linong’s door, he takes a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

He’s facing Linong’s mother when the door opens. She greets him with a smile and a short hug.

“Hello, Xukun.”

“Hi.”

“Linong’s in his room. He has been in there for a while, with me only sending his food inside.”

Xukun frowns. “Is his fever that bad?”

“It was really bad last night, but he was able to get up this morning,” she says. “How long will you be staying?”

“I’ll probably go back before dinner.”

“That’s good, because I gotta go out right now,” she tells him. “Take care of him, although I think he’s sleeping right now. I will be back soon."

“Take your time, and I will. Thank you.” He bows to her as she steps out of the house, closing the door after him.

Him and Linong alone in one house. _Hm, who would’ve thought,_ he thinks.

He knocks softly on his door, but loud enough for an awake Linong to hear. He hears a grunt from the other side, so he opens the door slowly.

He sees Linong wrapped around in a thick blanket, face flushed and eyes shut while facing the direction where Xukun is.

“Mom?” the hoarse voice of Linong says.

"Hey," Xukun says.

Linong opens his eyes and gasps before starting to cough violently when he realises it’s _not_ his mom.

Xukun quickly rushes over to him, which makes him cough even worse. He tries to rub his back, but Linong shakes his head, removing his arm. Xukun almost panics.

“Uh, I’ll grab a glass of water. Wait here,” he says, running downstairs in a speed of light.

When he’s upstairs, he sees Linong sitting up, leaning against the headboard of his bed, and arms out now. He’s looking down at his hands placed on his thighs when Xukun approaches him.

“Here,” he says, handing him the glass.

Linong doesn’t look up when he takes the glass. He clears his throat. “Thank you.”

He drinks the water silently, while Xukun stands awkwardly at the side of the bed.

Linong stops drinking when he notices this. He scoots over to the other side and pats the part of his bed where he wants Xukun to sit.

Xukun has been to Linong’s place only twice, and that was when their group of friends were over. They had only stayed in the living room, only going upstairs once when Justin pleaded Linong to show his room, so this is his first time on his bed.

“Sorry, it’s hot in here and I probably smell.”

“No, it’s fine,” Xukun denies honestly. “How are you feeling?”

“Ugh, terrible,” Linong says. “Better than last night though.”

“That’s good.”

“You should’ve told me you were coming.”

“I did, in the group chat.”

“I didn’t know you were serious.”

Xukun frowns at this. “Why wouldn’t I be? I was worried about you.”

Linong’s open mouth closes at this, and he darts his eyes away from meeting Xukun’s for a brief second before he looks back again.

“T-thank you,” he says quietly.

Xukun’s not sure if it’s because of the hot room that he’s feeling his cheeks warming right now when he just realised the words he has said.

“Why are you the only one here, though? Where are the others?”

“Said they couldn’t come, but they’re coming tomorrow. With me.”

“You guys don’t have to,” Linong whines.

“Hey, we all care about you.”

Linong inadvertently pouts. Then he sighs. “What’d I miss today?”

“Me.”

He looks at Xukun weirdly before laughing.

Xukun grins. “I’m your medicine.”

Linong starts nodding at him, still laughing. “Definitely.”

Xukun’s heart did a flip. _He’s so cute_ , he thinks.

“Also, you didn’t really miss much. We surprisingly have no homework.”

“Really?” His eyes are round and they're twinkling as if he’s fully healthy. Xukun somehow feels mesmerized, as always.

“Yeah, but you have work to do, sadly. They’re in my bag. I’ll put them on your table later.”

Linong then purses his lips. “Well, of course. I hope there isn’t much to do?”

Xukun shakes his head. “All of the lessons today were boring. I’d think it’s because we were just learning new topics today, but I honestly think it’s because you weren’t there.”

Linong laughs again, this time brighter than before. Xukun feels satisfied no matter how cheesy that was.

“Shut up, Xukun.”

“Oh wow, what has sickness done to you? Now you’re shutting me up?”

Linong rolls his eyes.

Xukun lets out a fake gasp. “He can also roll his eyes? Possessing even more talents, I see.”

The sick boy laughs even more, and his best friend who’s undoubtedly in love with him watches in admiration and contentment while thinking about how he’s the reason the other is producing great music to his ears.

 

-

 

“So,” Zhengting starts, sitting in front of Xukun. They’re sitting at one of the tables at the further end of the library.

“So,” Xukun echoes, flipping through his book and not looking up at all.

Zhengting stares at him. “Have you thought about confessing?”

Xukun finishes reading the whole page silently, before closing his book and looking up at him. “Yeah.”

“When?”

“Maybe after high school?”

Zhengting scoffs. “It’s uncomfortable to watch you so unsure and full of qualms.”

Xukun shrugs.

Then, Zhengting sighs. “I know it’s probably you’re first time being in love with someone who’s most likely not going to do the first move." Xukun looks offended, Zhengting continues, "And that’s why I actually want to help you. You can talk to me, you know.”

“What do you mean not going to do the first move?”

Zhengting looks at him weirdly. “You think Linong is going to ask you out? You gotta be the one who’s doing it.”

Xukun stares back at him, eyes still guarded before he finally shows how fearful he is.

“Is this what rejection feels like?” he whispers.

“You haven’t even confessed.”

“He seems so uninterested.”

“You don’t know that. Linong’s probably as good as you at hiding your true feelings.”

Xukun’s lips quirk up at that.

“You know what, in two days it’s Valentine’s day. I know last year you gave chocolates to Linong although you covered it up by saying someone asked you to give it to him—“

“ _Listen_ —“

“You _can’t_ hide this time. Don’t be a coward. You’re always so suave when talking to him that everyone knows you’re trying to win him over but when it comes to really romantic things I don’t get why you’re in denial.”

Xukun bites his lower lip.

“Confess soon.”

“Not to be that kind of person but if he accepts me I wouldn’t want our anniversary date to be on Valentine’s.”

“Oh my _God_ , Xukun!”

Xukun then starts laughing so hard until both of them get kicked out of the library.

 

-

 

Xukun doesn’t end up confessing, but he really shows up to school with a huge bouquet of flowers, earning whispers and squeals from everyone who sees him talking about who’s it for, and also envious glares at one another.

Most jaws drop when they see Xukun handing them to Linong, but only a few of them are actually surprised. They shoot heart eyes at Xukun as they watch him shoot his own heart eyes at Linong, and the other half coo at Linong’s bashful expression.

Xukun’s thankful no one is against this relationship.

 

-

 

That’s what _he_ thinks.

It’s been more than a year since he has harboured his feelings from the one he likes, and he has thought about confessing before graduation, but he keeps backing out and it’s frustrating but he thinks that it’s alright since he’s still able to spend time with Linong normally.

“I’ve always wondered this,” Linong says in the middle of their study session. They’re preparing for finals and the public library nearby is packed so they spend time in Xukun’s study room in his huge house.

“Hmm?” Xukun looks up immediately from his textbook to Linong staring at the pencil in his hands.

Linong looks up. Xukun tries not to look taken aback by the sparkling curious eyes of the other.

“Why do you reject everyone who confesses to you? Do not take this the wrong way but don’t you feel lonely? Don’t you want a girlfriend?”

Xukun laughs at the unexpected question, and also the innocent look on Linong’s face.

“Truthfully, I don’t really feel lonely. We can all survive without a significant other,” he says, voice light and teasing. He smirks as Linong looks away and his ears turn pink.

“I-I didn’t mean it like _that_.”

“Of _course_ ,” Xukun says. “It’s just, I’m saving myself for someone else.”

Linong quickly snaps his head back up, eyes wide. “Wow, really?”

Xukun smiles, nodding. _How can he not know?_

“I have feelings for someone.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Why would it be?”

Linong frowns. “You don’t really spend a lot of time with others who are not our close friends.”

Xukun beams inwardly at the fact that Linong actually notices that. It’s not that he doesn’t have any other friends — Xukun is friends with almost everyone in the school, actually — but he tends to be with his original group of friends most of the time.

“You’re right, but I don’t have to spend a lot of time with someone I like when I can’t since this generation we have that.” He points to Linong’s phone on the table, saying that they can text now since they use social medias often.

Linong purses his lips.

“Well, obviously,” he says. “But you’ve never told me?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“Anyone who’s caught your interest is obviously a big deal!”

_That’s right._

“How long?”

Xukun looks away at this. “For a year now.”

“You’re insane! How did you keep this away from me?”

“I’m more secretive than I look.”

Linong doesn’t reply, only looking down at his own textbook and frowning.

Xukun continues to stare at him, smile falling as he reads Linong’s hurt face.

“What’s wrong?” His voice is smaller and softer than before.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

He takes Linong’s hand with both of his hands before softly entwining the other’s fingers with his own.

Linong watches their hands together, like he always does as Xukun does this often.

“I thought I knew everything about you since we’ve been close friends for almost two years now,” he says, and his voice is small, vulnerable and absolutely sad that Xukun feels so so guilty. “I know that there are things you don’t wanna tell me but,” he pauses to laugh, “This is ridiculous this isn’t even a big deal it’s not like I’m your closest or longest friend or someth—“

“Hey,” Xukun cuts off. “Stop that.”

Linong obeys, but he’s still not looking at Xukun.

“I’m sorry, I’ll tell you things now—“

“No, that’s not what I want—“ He pulls his hand away from Xukun, but Xukun grips them tighter.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind you knowing all of me.”

Linong raises a brow at that.

“It’s just, I’m really in love with this person, and I’m scared about my feelings just in case if they don’t feel the same way.”

“There’s a high chance that they do.”

 _Really?_ Xukun thinks.

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you who it is someday. I promise.”

Linong shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. If you don’t plan on telling me I don’t really mind, but it’s really nice to see you having a person who makes you happy, and I finally understand why you haven’t been dating anyone. You must really love them.”

“I do.”

Linong is still not looking at him.

“You do know that you’re my best friend, right? Like, my number one.”

He’s still looking down.

“Nongnong?”

He finally looks up.

“Wanna go to prom with me?”

Xukun can’t believe his own ears, voice, mind, and brain and everything else of him that has just blurted out such an odd question in an inappropriate situation. They should’ve been studying, and asking someone out for prom should’ve been something special and nice. He should’ve had a preparation but here he is looking at Linong after doing something so impulsive and stupid.

He thinks about taking it back but deeply he wants to know Linong’s reaction and answer as soon as possible. _Right now._

Linong laughs, and Xukun feels his stomach twisting at how awkward it sounds.

“Are you being serious?”

Xukun thinks he imagines Linong’s voice cracking. He shakes his head, grinning. “Nah, of course not.”

“I knew,” Linong says. Xukun wishes he can look up and see Linong’s face right now but he’s so embarrassed and he feels dumb. “Although it’s early to talk about prom, you should use this chance to ask your crush out.”

Xukun nods. His heart is beating so fast he can’t hear or think about anything else right now. “Yeah, whatever. Let’s just study.”

He doesn’t look up to see the hurt expression on Linong’s face.

 

-

 

“I’ve gotten asked more than ten times the past three days, help me!” Xukun says, shaking Zhengting’s shoulders. It’s lunchtime and he’s pretty sure he’s going to get even more girls coming up to him if he goes to the cafeteria right now.

“Ask Linong quickly. In public where everyone can see and confirm you already have a date.”

Xukun stares at him. “ _What?_ No!”

Zhengting smacks him.

“Ow!”

“When are you going to man up, huh?! It is time! Prom’s in _two_ days!”

“But Ting! What if he rejects me in front of everyone? Wouldn’t that be humiliating?”

Zhengting lets out a frustrated groan. “Why would he reject you?! You’re being pessimistic for nothing.”

“No but _what_ if—“

“Fan Chengcheng! Fan Chengcheng!” the voice over the PA startles everyone in the hallway, including Xukun and Zhengting.

“Oh my God, is that Justin?” Zhengting say, staring at the school intercom.

“Wait, I’ll make it quick please don’t get me into trouble this is my last year of high school let me do this!” he shrieks over the muffled shouts of the secretaries. “Fan Chengcheng! I know you’re out there!”

“What is he doing?!” Zhengting shrieks. Xukun stays silent.

“Chengcheng I’m trying to be unique here so this will be something you remember forever— hold on! Just one more minute _pleaaaase_ — but I think this is causing me so much trouble than I thought but let me just quickly ask you to prom! _Please_ say yes! I know you let down everyone who asked you but I’m not letting you reject me! Agree or everyone in the school’s gonna hunt you down with the help of me! I—“

“ _Huang Minghao! Get away from there!_ ” one of the secretaries shouts, voice muffled.

“I’m sorry miss but please let me go! You remember prom, right? For prom we had to do ridiculous things for memories! _Memor_ —“

“ _Stop it right now before I ban you from going to prom!_ ”

“No, no, miss please—!”

The school intercom is silent.

Everyone breaks out into laughter and Zhengting shakes his head. Xukun grins.

“But we all know Chengcheng was turning everyone down so he could be available for Justin, am I right?” he shouts in the hallway.

The other students who heard his loud voice clearly start hollering “yeah!” and they start applauding, talking about how brave Justin was.

Zhengting smiles at him wickedly. “Don’t be a hypocrite. Justin knows how to reject everyone who has asked him to prom as well, but not Linong. Linong’s _too_ nice. So you better hurry up.” He pats Xukun’s shoulder twice before seeing Ziyi appear in the hallway. “Ziyi! You’re going to prom with _me_ and that’s final!”

Xukun snorts. His friends are really strong-minded and determined. He should learn from them, honestly.

He sighs, thinking about what to say to Linong. He has been so nervous and confused that he hasn’t come up with a creative way to ask Linong to prom, which sucks because Linong deserves something really special.

He shuts his locker door, taking a deep breath as he tries to calm his raging mind and fast beating of his heart before facing Linong.

He’s about to do this. He _really_ is.

Linong makes the job to find him easier when he approaches Xukun first with a bright smile on his face.

“Kunkun, there you are!”

“Yeah, hey,” Xukun says. “Sorry I didn’t come soon, I was dealing with something.” _A crisis._

“It’s okay! The others were there with me,” he says, voice a bit too cheerful. “Did you hear Justin though? He asked Chengcheng to prom!”

Xukun nods, too fast and too much, because he’s anxious thinking about doing this — asking Linong out. “I heard. Chengcheng was probably embarrassed but I’m sure he’s more flattered.”

Linong giggles. “I absolutely agree.”

“What brings you here?” Xukun tilts his head, trying not to look nervous.

“Oh, right.” He suddenly looks bashful, eyes not meeting Xukun’s anymore. “Something happened in the cafeteria when you were not there.”

Xukun is more than curious, but he tries not to rush Linong into telling.

“What?”

Linong continues to stare at the ground, before looking up. He takes a deep breath and smiles. “I got a prom date!”

 

-

 

Xukun ends up going to prom with one of the girls who has confessed to him, who he remembers as Mingyue, and this is only because she was coincidentally in the hallway as well when she overheard Linong informing Xukun about how he was already taken.

Being the nice girl who’s knowing and understanding, she approached him.

“So, got dumped huh?”

Xukun smiled. “Yeah, it hurts.”

She stayed silent.

“I suddenly feel bad for doing this to all of the people who have confessed to me.”

She laughed.

“Although you hurt me, you did what’s right. You wouldn’t want to date others while you truly have feelings for someone else.”

“Well, seems like the only person I’m in love with do not feel the same way.”

“Life can be really unfair and sad sometimes. You, Cai Xukun, can choose anyone you want but the person who you actually need do not think of you.”

“Gee, thanks for stating the obvious.”

She shrugged, then she stared at Xukun. “Then who are you going to go to prom with?”

He didn’t say anything as he observed the stains on one of the lockers near his.

His eyes met hers.

“Has anyone asked you?”

Her big sister is currently taking pictures of the two of them, and he’s really glad the girl he chooses to go to prom with has a really nice family and household.

“I took some really nice shots,” her sister comments, looking at the pics on her camera.

Mingyue sighs. “Okay, are you done? Can we go now?”

“Of course! You two have fun. Don’t leave my sister dancing on her own,” she says to Xukun.

Xukun grins. “Oh, I sure won’t.”

Mingyue pulls his hand and drags them to the front door. “Bye mom, dad!”

They reach their school on time, with Xukun greeting everyone that looks at him, and Mingyue is smiling at all of them. She ignores the gasping and scoffing she hears from jealous and envious people when they enter the venue, since she’s obviously in the position where probably every girl and guy in school wants to be.

She whistles. “Look at that.”

She doesn’t even have to motion him what she’s talking about, as Linong is already looking up and grinning up at Xukun.

“Hey guys!” he says when he's in front of both of them along with his date.

“Hello,” Xukun greets back, while the girl beside him gasps really loud.

“ _This_ is your secret date? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Mingyue says, glaring at Linong’s date.

The girl laughs nervously. “Hi Yueyue. You look pretty.”

Mingyue’s still glaring, before she sighs and smiles. “You look great as well, Fei.”

“Oh, you two know each other?” Linong asks.

“We’re actually attached to the hip, but she told me she already had someone to go to prom with, two weeks before she asked you!”

Linong then laughs at Fei’s flustered expression. Xukun feels uneasy at how bright Linong’s face is looking at her, while he’s here with someone he didn’t plan to be with.

“I can explain—“

“You better have an explanation,” Mingyue says, raising a brow. “ _Anyways_ , I’m thirsty. Are there—“

“Oh! I’ll get you a drink! Let me be right back,” Linong says, disappearing immediately.

Xukun wants to go with him, but Mingyue starts speaking.

“You’re such an idiot!” she whisper-yells at Fei.

“What did I do?”

“Why did you ask Linong?”

“You knew I had a crush on him for the _longest_ time—“

“And _you_ knew I told you that Linong is reserved for Xukun and that you never had a chance?”

Fei frowns. “That’s not nice, Yueyue. I had a chance and I grabbed it.”

Mingyue looks at Xukun. “It’s your fault for being such a slowpoke too, you imbecile.”

Xukun gapes at her. “I—“

She whips her head to look at Fei. “Sorry, Fei. Enjoy your night with him. I just wished you told me.”

“I _knew_ you would react like this so I didn’t—“

“What’s this about?” Linong comes with two drinks, one he hands to Mingyue and one to Xukun.

“It’s nothing,” Fei mutters.

Linong frowns then looks at Xukun who just shrugs.

“You look nice,” Xukun comments, hoping his voice isn’t wavering.

Then his smile is back. “Thank you. You look handsome yourself.”

Xukun is sure the sound of his heart beating is louder thnan the music. He doesn’t know what to respond, but Linong speaks up again.

“You got yourself a prom date without telling me,” he teases.

Xukun laughs, but Mingyue responds, “I’m lucky!”

Linong nods. “You are.”

Xukun’s stomach is filled with butterflies because Linong looks so good and his smile is so cute Xukun wishes that it is him holding Linong’s waist tonight instead of Fei.

“What did you do to make him agree though? He literally turned down everyone who asked him.”

“ _Hey_ —“

Mingyue cuts him off, laughing and shaking his head.

“Oh no no, he didn’t agree.”

“Huh?” Linong says, now confused.

Xukun’s heart is doing weird flips because he’s staring at Linong with his mind screaming at how beautiful Linong’s eyes are and how adorable his expression is.

“I didn’t ask him. _He_ did,” she says, patting Xukun’s shoulder.

“Oh?”

Linong frowns, before starting to laugh.

"Yeah, I'm flattered. My date ended up being a good guy," she says. "A really good one."

“Well, that’s great,” he says, looking at her.

He doesn’t look at Xukun at all as he turns to Fei.

“Do you wanna dance now?”

Fei looks at Mingyue then nods. “Yeah, okay.”

“See you guys around,” Linong says, taking Fei as they disappear into the crowd.

Xukun feels uneasy.

“You wanna go check out the food first? I’m hungry,” Mingyue says.

He nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They end up looking at the food for two minutes before actually picking what to eat, and they spend another two trying to find an available table while in hopes of seeing their own friends.

Justin spots them and yells Xukun’s name, motioning them to come over, and Xukun sighs in relief when he sees his friends and their dates.

Zhengting eyes him and his date, and Xukun only smiles sadly at him.

Thankfully his friends let him talk to Mingyue by not bothering them, and it’s only when there’s finally an upbeat song that Mingyue’s eyes light up.

“Hey, wanna dance?”

“I mean, do I have a choice?”

Mingyue laughs, standing up and offering a hand to Xukun. He takes it.

He thinks it’s fun that he’s currently on the dance floor with her, dancing like no one’s watching because everyone’s doing the same thing and laughter and cheers are filling his ears and he thinks it’s _nice_.

From the corner of his eyes he can make out Linong enjoying this as well with his own date, and Xukun thinks it doesn’t really matter.

It doesn’t really matter that when a slow song plays next and the hands around his waist are of someone who he has never thought about — someone who doesn’t occupy his mind most of the time and make him feel happy and proud and all kinds of feelings you feel when you’re in love. It really doesn’t matter than the one he actually pictured his prom with is with someone who’s not him right now.

It doesn’t matter that fate and the whole universe maybe doesn’t want them to be together— doesn’t want him to be with Linong, as long as Linong is still shining and smiling brightly then Xukun is going to be alright.

These are the thoughts in his head while he moves to the song with Mingyue, and his eyes are staring at Linong who’s smiling at Fei. Xukun doesn’t waver when Linong looks up to meet his eye, and he thinks the smile that is sent to his way is more heavenly and genuine than the one to the girl with him.

Xukun smiles back, before looking at Mingyue.

“This is nice,” Xukun tells her.

Mingyue laughs softly. “It is.”

She puts his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I’m not him.”

Xukun frowns at this. “Why would you be sorry?”

“You know I can hear your thoughts loud and clear by the way you were watching him.”

“Really? You have such _amazing_ superpowers.”

“I do,” she plays along, “But this is really sad for me to see. I’m watching an angsty romantic movie with my own eyes like this.”

“Can you guess if it has a good ending?”

“Not sure, the main lead with the hot face is an idiot so I can’t really tell.”

Xukun laughs at this. He feels her smile on his shoulder, then she looks up.

“If the hot guy stops being stupid then obviously there’d be a good ending.”

He stares at her.

“You should be with him.”

“I can’t leave you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be with Fei.”

“Okay,” he pauses, “Let’s just stay like this for another minute.”

Mingyue nods.

“Thank you for tonight. I think I would have shown up alone and without a date if it weren’t for you.”

She scoffs. “Liar. You got so many girls waiting in line.”

Xukun shrugs.

“If you’re really thankful, then you gotta do something.”

“What would you like?”

“Hmm, a kiss.”

“Didn’t know you still had feelings for me.”

“I don’t,” she says honestly. “It’s just the old me would’ve _killed_ the whole population for this, and plus it can be just like a bro kind of kiss or something.”

“You sure it’s not because you still like me?”

She rolls her eyes.

Xukun laughs. “Alright, it’s not like you’d be my first kiss.”

“Thank God, then.”

He leans in, pressing his lips against hers for three seconds before pulling away. She smiles at him before pushing him.

“Now, go get your man!”

Xukun watches as she goes around to find Fei and shakes his head. He goes to the table where his group of friends are at since he can’t seem to find Linong anywhere.

He doesn’t meet Linong after that that night.

 

-

 

This is the last summer they’ll be having before starting university, and Xukun is always active in their group chat since he’s already missing them more than he thought.

They spend almost every week together, meeting up at a place and just talking and reminiscing the old times. All of them — Chengcheng, Justin, Yanjun, Zhangjing, Zhengting, Ziyi, Linkai and Linong — are going to be separated due to different universities and different ambitions, and Xukun spends every night thinking about how he’s thankful for an amazing group of friends his whole high school life.

He knows they will still keep in touch but things are changing. He doesn’t want to let them go since they’ve been close friends for the most amazing part of his life.

And _of course_ , the boy who he has a soft spot for.

Ever since that night, Linong has been acting odd and quiet, Xukun tries to ask him about it but he just keeps brushing it off.

What hurts him even more is that he talks to the others normally, and Xukun just keeps wondering what he’s doing wrong.

He’s too scared to ask Linong since they wouldn’t have much time to be together before they go to their own universities, so he just deals with it and act like nothing’s wrong.

But everything’s _wrong_.

Xukun realises how much in love he is with Linong when he thinks about starting a new part of his life without Linong by his side, without the beautiful boxy smile and heavenly laugh and teasing voice of the other. It’s much more painful than he thought and he’s so so frightened.

_How did it end up like this?_

When Xukun found out about his crush on Linong, he thought he would only be a high school crush, but he hasn’t even started university and he knows that this isn’t only a high school crush.

The times when the group hang out together he finds himself staring at Linong more often than usual, as if Linong would disappear once he looks away. Zhengting still gives him the look when Xukun meets his eyes, and it makes him feel more of an idiot than he actually is, along with the fact that Linong doesn't even spare a glance at him.

He can’t picture Linong going to university meeting and adding new people in his life and even a future with someone who’s not Xukun.

Xukun always finds himself typing messages to Linong and ends up backspacing them all and it’s frustrating because he just wishes Linong to look at him but Linong doesn’t even smile at him anymore.

Next week is the time when he’s going to move to a new apartment to the state of where his university is at, and he has already packed most of his stuff and his mother has been sniffing after shedding tears a lot more. He already knows all of his friends’ plans and universities, and he almost starts crying finding out all of them do not have the same paths.

Yanjun and Zhangjing are going to the same university as him — Zenlai University — and are moving to the same apartment, with them being roommates is basically equivalent to being a married couple but their excuse is that they can divide the rent and it’s easier that way.

It makes Xukun happy for them but sad at the same time since he has no roommate and he doesn’t really have an excuse since he has enough money from his parents.

He knows all of his friends’ plans and they promise to keep in touch and in the future they will be invited to each other’s weddings and if everyone’s still in China everyone will move to the same neighbourhood with their new families and Zhangjing frequently popping into the chat to tell them to stop being nostalgic and emotional and everyone will start bringing up more delusional things while laughing so hard behind their phone screens.

 **zhangjing** : we just finished HIGH SCHOOL it’s not the end

 **justin** : HIGH SCHOOL IS LITERALLY THE LAST POINT OF LIFE

 **zhengting** : JUSTIN YOU HAVE A UNIVERSITY TO GO TO

 **justin** : UNIVERSITY SUCKS I MISS HIGH SCHOOL

 **chengcheng** : you haven’t even started university!!!

 **justin** : WHO CARES I ALREADY KNOW ITS GOING TO SUCK

 **linkai** : LMAOOO

 **linong** : HAHAH

 **linong** : i miss high school too

 **linong** : i know i joined late but you guys really made those two years of my life the best

 **zhengting** : AWWW NONGNONGGGG I LOVE UUU

Well, everyone _except_ for Linong.

He’s pretty sure Linong’s going to university, but since they haven’t been talking, Xukun doesn’t know where he’s going. Linong’s very smart, so Xukun’s scared because there’s a high chance he’s studying overseas.

That is really the breaking point as he thinks about finally confronting Linong by meeting up, and he feels so brave that he wants Linong to come only by himself — just the two of them. Like the old days.

 **xukun** : hey nongnong

 **linong** : hello xukun

Xukun ignores how he drops the nickname.

 **xukun** : i’m craving for sushi

 **linong** : nice

Why is Xukun suddenly hesitating?

 **xukun** : i want to have sushi for dinner

 **linong** : good for you

 **xukun** : yeah

 **xukun** : um

 **xukun** : and im lonely

 **xukun** : can i bring you out for sushi?

The reply comes half an hour later, and Xukun spends the thirty minutes staring at the phone in his hand, hoping for it to light up with a text notification.

 **linong** : sure

Xukun comes to the sushi place an hour early, and he curses when he realises how stupid and dumb he is. He informed the place that he has booked a table for two half an hour before his meeting time with Linong, so he spends the remaining time beforehand in his car, staring at the steering wheel.

He exits his car twenty minutes later, entering the restaurant with a smile when he sees the woman near the entrance. He tells his name and she leads him to his reserved table.

“I’ll wait for my friend before ordering,” he informs.

“Alright,” she says, leaving him with the menu and she walks away.

Xukun just stares at his hands as he waits for Linong who arrives ten minutes before the appointed time. Linong smiles at Xukun when he waves at him, but Xukun feels like the shine is lost in his eyes although it’s still beautiful as ever and he’s still whipped as ever.

“Hey,” Linong says.

“Hey.”

He bites his lower lip, not knowing what to say next. He’s more nervous than he thought he would be. He hasn’t had a proper conversation with Linong for so long, only exchanging a few words here and there, so he’s confused.

He opens his mouth and starts asking basic questions, as if they haven’t not talked to each other properly for almost a month now. Xukun takes the lead in the conversation, adding in jokes once in a while, and he feels comfortable once again when Linong seems to look less awkward.

Xukun doesn’t feel like bringing up his actual questions, but when the food arrives he’s now out of things to say.

“Finally, your craving has been satisfied,” Linong says, voice light.

Xukun chuckles. “Yeah, thanks for being a nice company.”

Linong stays silent at that, putting food into his own mouth, but Xukun feels awkward once again.

“I mean it, you’re a great friend.” He tastes metal in his mouth all of a sudden.

Linong smiles up at him, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Xukun slowly sips his drink.

“I like being with you, you know.”

“I get it, Xukun.”

“Xukun,” Xukun repeats, voice small.

“What?”

“Why have you been acting so distant?”

Linong frowns at that, and Xukun feels like he has made a mistake.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know what I mean. We don’t talk to each other as much as before.”

Linong doesn’t respond quickly.

“We’re about to go to university," he says.

“Yeah?”

Xukun watches as Linong eats instead of answering.

“Don’t tell me you’re doing this so I can get rid of you out of my life easily when we go to different places,” he says. “You’re not going to get away from me just because we’re not going to school together anymore, Linong.”

“I know,” Linong says.

“I miss you.”

“I’m still here.”

“I’ve seen you the past few weeks but I still missed you because you always seemed so far away and I’m hurting. You’re acting like I’ve done something wrong and I’m trying to fix it but I don’t know what I did since you’re not telling me,” Xukun says, tone showing how sad he is. “And if this is hurting me and I miss you this much, I can’t imagine how much I will be missing you when we leave and don’t talk anymore but I know it’s going to be painful because you’re an important person to me and I don’t want you to go.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

Xukun is confused, and he’s on the verge of getting angry because Linong isn’t being himself or being reasonable and it’s frustrating.

“Things that I mean?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he says. Linong continues to stare at his plate. Xukun is losing his mind. “Chen Linong, I have feelings for you, and they’re telling me that I want you to be more than just my best friend.”

“You’re kidding.”

Xukun doesn’t expect the reaction he gets. Linong’s eyes are wide open and his mouth is agape, as if with incredulity.

“I’m not…?”

Linong then looks around, and asks, “Can we take this outside?”

They finish their food silently and minutes later they find themselves walking to the neighborhood’s park and Linong is staring at his feet while Xukun’s facing where they’re walking to. They haven’t talked at all, both not knowing where to start after the confession.

“So,” Xukun starts. “How do you feel knowing I’m in love with you?”

“You’re in love with me?” Linong looks up from his feet to Xukun, and when he meets Xukun’s eyes he looks back at the ground.

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

“No… Not at all,” Linong says, and his voice is so small and he sounds so insecure and Xukun is confused.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

Linong doesn’t reply immediately. They continue to walk with Xukun staring at Linong and Linong at his interesting feet. Linong sighs.

“I just,” he says. “I thought we would better off to not be friends anymore?”

“Why?”

“I mean, we’re going to different universities. We’re not going to talk anymore. Even if we try to, we’re gonna end up being strangers again. So why not do it soon?”

“That’s not how it works, Linong," Xukun says, clearly disappointed. "You're still treating the others the same. It's hurting me."

“Xukun, I had a crush on you for the longest time,” Linong admits, not looking at Xukun’s bewildered expression. “I thought that if I had distanced myself from you this early the feelings would disappear soon and I would go to university with no regrets.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go to university thinking you hated me.”

“I do _not_ hate you!” Linong says, head snapping up. They stop walking, and Linong’s face is so near to Xukun who has never once stopped staring at the other. Linong stumbles backwards, shocked by the proximity, and Xukun grabs ahold of his hand.

"Nongnong, I don’t want to go and find anyone else. You’ve made me the happiest and I find myself being at the most ease when I’m with you. Please don’t think otherwise.”

Linong’s staring into Xukun’s eyes, and Xukun’s eyes are flickering from his eyes to his lips and back up. Linong tries to focus on how genuine his eyes are, but he honestly feels like he’s being led on.

Like he always does.

“You’ll meet better people at university, Xukun.”

“No, I want you.”

This is what he has always wanted, to be with Xukun— a label that is something more than friends.

And Xukun is out here with him like an open book, and he’s hesitating because he’s muddled.

_But why?_

It’s because everytime he has high hopes that he’s able to be with Xukun, the other always crushes him by doing the same thing if not better to others. Linong has always thought he was special, and at first he thought maybe Xukun considered him as a close friend but that night when Xukun surprised him a birthday party, Linong might had fallen real harder than before, and he thought that maybe, _maybe_ he’s really someone special to Xukun just as how Xukun is to him.

But that night when Linong mustered up the courage to ask Xukun about him turning down girls, Xukun had almost given him a heart attack when he asked Linong to prom.

Linong was too shocked to form an actual reply, and when Xukun took it back, it made Linong more despondent than ever.

He really thought he was reading all messages and hints the wrong way.

He’s got too attached, and he doesn’t want to be.

“I applied to three universities, and got accepted into all.” Linong looks away, walking towards a nearby bench and sits on it. Xukun follows him.

“That’s great. You still haven’t told me where you’re going.”

Linong gives him a remorseful smile.

“That’s because I’m not sure yet.” He sighs, looking down at his lap. “I wanna go overseas but I don’t really wanna be far away from here, plus studying here doesn’t seem like a bad idea.”

“I understand,” Xukun says.

“Hard being indecisive. It sucks,” Linong says, sighing.

“You can try asking your parents to choose.”

“They keep saying that they don’t want to because it’d seem like they’re forcing me into something that I’m going to regret.” He laughs, shaking his head.

Xukun hums, thinking about something. Linong looks at him.

“Ah, I have an idea,” Xukun says. “Do you trust me?”

Linong gulps. “Yeah.”

“Okay, in your head, think of your university options and number them.”

“Hmmm.” He stops and thinks, then he pulls out his phone. He types something and when he’s done he meets Xukun’s eyes just when Xukun’s phone vibrates in his pocket. The other raises a brow, but Linong only locks back his phone. “Done.”

Xukun continues, “I’m gonna pick a number, and that’s where you’re going.”

“Okay.” Linong grins, eyes turning into the crescents which Xukun has grown to love more and more every single time it’s directed towards him and him only. “I trust you.”

He’s staring at Linong when he says, “Three.”

Linong’s smile almost falters, but he doesn’t let it be.

Xukun smiles. “How am I going to know you’re going to follow what I say?”

“When you get home, check your phone.”

“I will.”

When Xukun drops Linong off at his front door later that night, Linong gives him a big and long hug, head in the crook of his neck. Xukun thinks he isn’t imagining the soft sound and feeling of a peck on his shoulder before Linong lets go.

“I’m really sorry for everything.”

“You’ve apologized ten times already, and I’ve forgiven you for all.”

“I know, I just still feel bad.”

Xukun stands still, not knowing what to say. Linong smiles sheepishly for the nth time that night.

Xukun presses his lips together to hide a grin. “Cute,” he mutters.

Linong lets out a soft whine while staring at his feet once again, ears turning red. Xukun likes to think it _isn’t_ because of the cold weather.

“And you were wondering why I’m weak for you?”

“ _Xukun!_ ”

Xukun laughs. “I’m kidding. You should go in now.”

“I’m going.” Linong opens his door slowly while still facing Xukun.

He steps inside with the door still open. He smiles at Xukun, a smaller but not less of a genuine one. “Thank you, Kunkun.”

Xukun beams. “For your information, I will always be available for you, until you give me an answer I’m not giving up on you!”

“Bye, Xukun!” Linong yells, shutting the door right in front of the other’s face. Xukun lets out a loud laughter which he hasn’t done in a while, and it feels really nice, especially knowing it’s because of _Him_.

The door slowly opens and half of Linong’s face shows. Xukun winks at him playfully.

“I’m not joking, Nongnong!”

“I know, but please _leave_ now! Go home!” he cries out due to embarrassment.

It’s so funny how Linong has become even more shy and flustered now whenever Xukun openly flirts, as if Xukun hasn’t done it before the confession.

When Xukun finally finishes taking a shower and puts on his clothes, he goes to his bed and sighs.

He turns on his phone and scrolls through the other notifications until his eyes land on Linong’s name.

 **linong** : 1) university of science and technology of china, 2) bujing university, 3) zenlai university

Below it are messages that Linong sent an hour later.

 **linong** : congrats

 **linong** : (-:

Xukun is so elated he spends the entire night thinking about spending another part of his life with Linong in it that he only falls asleep when the sun gets up.

**Author's Note:**

> DHFKSHFD IM SORRY I ENDED IT LIKE THAT UHHH I DIDNT EXPECT TO WRITE IT REALLY LONG.. it was supposed to be under 5k but i couldn't control myself i'm sorry!!!
> 
> BUT im currently working on another chapter AND MAYBE i'll post it.. once i finish it of course..  
> the next one is based on linong's pov just to clear up why the way he had been acting,, and maybe maybe maybe i'll write them in uni??
> 
> IM NOT SURE YET bc i have other nongkun wips as well so
> 
> please give a feedback  
> thank you so so much for reading!!  
> even one kudo makes me happy :D


End file.
